Issei
by Tikigod784
Summary: A story about Nagi and his....condition.
1. Issei

**Issei**

--

Blackness. Complete and utter blackness. It wasn't dark. Just black. Why not dark? He could see his hands. No longer bloody and beaten like before. His clothes were no longer torn and ripped. He didn't feel any pain either. He tried pinching himself.

Ow.

"Dammit."

This...wasn't right. Where were his friends? His enemies? His fangirls (you know who you are)! Where was anybody for that matter?! What time was it? Was Dallas **(1)** on? God, he hated that show. Where was his magic stick? Did soda and pop rocks _really _make your stomach explode? He had a lot of questions, but the most important one was:

"Isn't there anything to do in here?"

He was so BORED. By god, he'd rather be back fighting that ass Nelo Angelo. He was given no time to complain, however, as a voice seemed to seep into his consciousness. Pervading his mind. Euw.

"My, my...what a surprise. To think that someone like you could be defeated by the measly forces of a self-proclaimed "prince of darkness". Ah...how the mighty have-"

"Okay, woah dude. That lines way too cliché and you know it."

He felt kinda stupid for talking to himself like this, but hey. He was in a gigantic void of blackness. What else could he do?

"Hmm. You have a point there. And yes, you do look rather silly. Talking to yourself like this."

Crossing his arms and Legs Indian style, he let out a huff.

"Hey, hey..._you're_ the one who decided to pervade my mind...ya pervert."

"Fhn Fhn…I suppose you're right. But I couldn't help myself. It's not as if I meet celebrities every day you know."

"Yeah yeah…"

He remained silent for some time.

"So….where am I?"

"Well…" The voice, for a moment, seemed uncertain. "You could say that you're inside me."

"WTF?"

"10 years too early for that!"

"Which just makes me ahead of the game."

"But, on the other hand, I suppose you could say that you're in Limbo."

"I suck at that game."

"Don't we all?"

"Yeah…except for that one annoying kid who can always do it perfectly. I always hated that guy…"

"Yes…he always got a prize for winning too…every time…"

He stopped to consider this. Yes. What _was_ up with that kid? How did he bend his back like that? Why the hell did he care anyways? And more importantly, was that _his _voice?

"Yes. I find it easier to converse with people when I use a familiar voice."

"Yeah, but do you have to use _mine?_"

"I could use the little girl's voice." And he did so, verily.

"Gah! Fine! Use my voice! Jeez…ya pervert. You're worse than-"

"AM I?"

"…no….not really."

"damn straight."

"So…what now? Is this the _divine comedy_ or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"What am I supposed to do now? I can't just sit here talking to you all day about the mysteries of life. I've got friends, family, and most importantly, rabid fangirls waiting for my return. So tell me how to get back already!"

"…"

"Well?"

"You may be surprised to hear this, but…some of your friends have already passed through here."

"What? Where are they?"

The voice was serious now. It also no longer took on the jovial tone it had become known for, nor did it keep his voice. It didn't really have a voice, anymore, but he still hear it, clear as day.

"They…were unable to move from this spot. A pity, really…they were interesting individuals."

"What? Bastard! What the hell did you do to them?"

"Nothing. If anyone did _anything_ to them, it was you. Did you really think your past deeds wouldn't catch up with you? Are you that Arrogant? Naivety? Or perhaps a little bit of both? Well, regardless, there's little you can do to help them now. Pray for their eternal rest, I suppose…"

"Shut the-"

"You may retort all you want, but the fact of the matter is, you led them on this venture."

"No…I-"

"_You_ took the little girl."

"No!" Angry.

"_You_ proclaimed your strength to the whole world."

"No…" Desperate.

Did you really think you could just take her with you and you'd all live happily ever after? After all you did to get to her?"

"N-no…" Defeated. Tears were streaming down his face.

"Of course not. Face it, the demons were one thing, but _you_ killed them."

"Dammit…" He clenched his fists. The voice was right. Saying he was the strongest, saying he'd protect her without a problem, forcing everyone to come with him. It all came back to him in one fell swoop. Gateau. Al. Kratos. **(2)** They were all dead. And it was all because he'd forced them to stay by his side, even when they'd been ambushed in the middle some forest. He couldn't deny anything. This voice knew everything. His hands were bloody again.

"My, my… you haven't cried this hard since you were what? Five? Six? Stop blubbering already. Bloody hell." It was using his voice again.

"Shut up…"

He remained that way for quite some time, just sitting there staring into the annoying blackness of Limbo. He chuckled. Al always won at Limbo **(3)**. He wiped the tears away.

"I've decided." He said, voice steely with determination.

"Oh?"

"I'm through getting people involved with my problems. I've gotta take responsibility."

"You? Ha. I doubt it."

"I've still got people to protect. But I won't put them in harm's way ever again. I'll protect everyone, even if I've gotta do it myself."

His eyes had that old fire in them again, but it was different. There was a sort of seriousness there. Something that had never been there before.

"I'm gonna get out of this black hole, and when I do, there'll be hell to pay."

"…"

"I'll never…" His hands began to crackle with bright energy. "fail my friends…" Takamichi, Gateau, Kratos, Eishun, little Asuna, who'd become like a daughter to him, his father, Eva… "AGAIN!" His body exploded with bright lightning. Space seemed to contort around him, and everything became bright.

--

"Hey little girl, how about becoming my partner?"

The little pigtailed girl shook her head.

"Hmm?"

"I want Nagi…"

"eh…"

His friends proceeded to beat the crap out of him. "Why the hell are you so popular?"

--

The first thing he realized was, his entire body (most noticeably his head) hurt like hell. The second thing he realized was, there were 3 demons standing over him.

"Well, looks like he's done for, but just in case…" It raised it's mammoth fist.

He jumped away just in time, summoning his old staff as he did so. **(4)**

"What?"

"How's that possible? His energy was completely spent!"

"Tch. Guess he doesn't call himself "Thousand master" for nothing."

Charging up, he didn't even bother with a retort. It was true, he proclaimed himself as the Thousand Master, though he only knew 5 (maybe 6) spells, and his spells were only about 100 times more powerful, not 1000. That'd be obnoxious.

That day, he earned that title **(5)**.

However, no one saw him after that.

--

OMAKE!

"You're still here?"

"But of course! Now then, to get acquainted, let's have a round of 20 questions!"

"What?"

"Question1: Why are you such a loli-magnet?"

"Grr...!"

Things looked bleak for our hero.

--

**(1) **If you haven't seen that show, then... you lucky #.

**(2) **The crazy huge guy behind Nagi in the picture of Crimson Wing (vol. 6). I don't know his name.

**(3) **Just take a moment to picture that…good…good…now picture chibi Nagi on his knees in defeat.

**(4) **You can't handle the magic stick. He only shows it to his fangirls, anyway. Head outta the gutter!

**(5) **Seriously. If that's not the most bad-ass way to earn that kind of title, I don't know what is.

--

Yo! I made an OC just like I promised on the forums! Sort of… only with absolutely no distinguishable features other than it's ability to pervade your mind and use random voices. Euw.

'Issei' as I have dubbed him, is owned by me! But I don't mind if people use him in a story, since it'd probably be goofy.

R&R. Flame and I'll drop you like a bad habit.

That or I'll start cutting again…curls up in a corner

"Doing it wrong emo." points to electric shaver

Shut up! This is the 21st century dammit!


	2. Rainmaker, Rainmaker

Issei! Chapter 2!

Rainmaker, Rainmaker….

--

Authors' Note: I don't own Negima! I won't say this again. So there. Ha.

Also, I've decided that 'Issei's voice shall be **BOLD!** And snappy.

--

"**Well?"**

"…"

"**Did you see it?"**

"Why are you still here?" He asked for probably the millionth, if not the billionth time. Sure, the voice wasn't going to answer him (truthfully), but he could still ask, right?

"**I'm a disembodied voice, so technically, I'm not really anywhere."**

"You know what I mean…" Currently wandering about a distinct savanna bathed in a surreal sunset, Nagi Springfield sighed to himself. He could distinctly hear some birds chirping in the distance as he continued down the simple dirt road. The orange sun slowly lowering itself behind the distant moutains cast a very peaceful atmosphere on this otherwise foreboding savanna. However, all this beauty and contentment was quickly foreshadowed by a sudden thought. When the hell had he gotten to Africa?

"**You ask this now? After all we've been through together?"**

"Of course!" He sighed again. 10 years since the voice had entered his head (quite rudely), and he still got pissed at its annoying tendency to start conversations with no real intent or purpose. Something that constantly kept him on edge, for while the voice usually did little to help him in any situations, he couldn't let himself forget that even 6 years ago.

"**You didn't see the giraffe did you?"**

"Go away!" Though he said that, the voice, being all-knowing, was much more useful than he originally had thought. Not just 6 years ago, but it _had _in fact helped him get out of a jam more than once. His escape from the _Sand Country_**(1)**coming to mind. Yes, he had much to thank it for, and he would, but it was just too damn annoying!

"**Fhn. Fhn."**

"What are you chuckling about now?"

"**You're talking to yourself again."**

"Agh! DAMMIT! Would you at least stop using my voice?"

"This better?"

"No. No it is not, and you know it." The vein in his forehead throbbed. He'd probably developed some extra muscle or cartilage there by now. Why did this pervert like to use Asuna's voice? Why didn't he use _his_ voice? Or at the very least use the voice of someone they met on the street so conversations wouldn't be oh so unsettling?

"**I told you, familiar voices make it easier to converse with people."**

"That's a horrible excuse…" Stupid, perverted, all-knowing voice.

"**Oh, hush. It's not that bad."** It grunted back to his voice.

"Easy for you to say…" He really needed to go see a doctor. Sure, it didn't really impede him in any specific way, but come on! He had a voice in his head! Surely there had to be _something_ wrong with him?

**"Of course. Speech comes quite naturally to me."**

"It wouldn't be so bad if _other_ people could hear you..."

"**But wouldn't that ruin the fun?"**

"Cheh." Always a comeback. Not even the charismatic and decidedly witty "Thousand Master" could compete with this guy (at least, he assumed/hoped it was a guy).

"**By the way... I hear your son's been looking for you."**

"No shit. I've only been hearing about it from you for roughly 3 months!" Of course his son had to make things more complicated. Sure, he'd love to go see Negi right now. He _was_ his son for crying out loud, whom he hadn't seen in years! But that would only complicate matters for all parties involved. Even as he kept a low-profile, there were constantly people chasing after him. No real threat to him, thanks to the skills he'd developed during the war (and a decidedly psychic voice), but Negi was only 10. He wasn't ready for the kind of crap Nagi had to deal with.

"**No need to be snappy. I still don't understand your need to stay away from him. Not only is he with Asuna, Takamichi and Albireo, but he's in one of the safest mage cities in the world. Could it really hurt to go see him?"**

"Perhaps not, but that's not a risk I'm going to take. Didn't you say something about that "Wilhelm" guy getting in there almost undetected?" He'd almost gone straight to Mahora when he'd learned that such a high-level demon had shown up to confront Negi and his partners. However, as it turned out, not only were his partner's extremely attractive for their age, they were more than capable of protecting Negi for him. At least for now. And, much to his relief, Al was indeed at Mahora, though he was virtually powerless.

"**Hmm, I suppose you're right… after all, like father, like son." **

"What do you mean by _that_?"

"**I just meant that just like his father, he attracts tons of allies **_**cough women cough**_** to him wherever he goes."**

"Damn straight. He's the son of the Thousand Master. What do you expect?" Indeed, he'd actually been kind of surprised when he'd seen how many partners had. It kinda made Nagi jealous inside, since the majority of Nagi's partners (that stayed with him) were male. He found himself wondering why such a serious kid could attract so much attention from the opposite sex without any inherent charm.

"**Though clearly he's not a **_**loli-**_**magnet like you…"**

"Grrr…" Vein. On forehead. Throbbing. Profusely. He wished he could strangle this voice. He _hated_ when people brought up that point.

"**Fhn Fhn"**

"Hmph." Nagi continued down the now dark path at a brisker pace. He'd need to find shelter or something. He continued on in relative silence for a while.

At one point, he came upon a small tree and settled down to sleep in one of the lower branches.

"**You know…"** It spoke up just as he was about to fall asleep. **"By the time you actually decide whether or not to become part of your son's life, it might be too late."**

"What?"

"**What I'm saying is, he may get tired of waiting for you."**

"…"

"**And we can't have THAT now can we?"**

True. His son might just give up on him entirely, with all those pretty girls around him. Who needs a father when you've got a harem? (AN: Snicker)

"**Well?"**

He sat there, not sleeping, but not really awake. Just lying on a tree branch contemplating the true importance of a father. This continued for what seemed like hours.

"**Hey…"**

Truly, if Negi was surrounded by all those great partners, did he _really_ need him?

"**Don't ignore me."**

Surrounded by pretty women who are at your beck and call…

"**I hate it when you do that…**

A stable job, a few good friends….

"**You're a dick."**

And plenty of Chupacabras running about in case he got bored.

"**Ooh, another giraffe."**

Negi definitely didn't need some vagabond like him for a father.

"**You really think too much you know that?"**

He hadn't realized he'd been sleeping until the voice woke him up.

"**You know you're just gonna show up on his doorstep at some random point and act like everything's perfectly normal. Quit playing the role of a responsible man."**

He sighed. So true. So true it was almost sad.

"**Now go to sleep. The giraffe left already, and you **_**still**_** didn't see it."**

He'd just have to think of what to say to everyone when he showed up again. Well, no use thinking about it now. That was still a long ways off. Drifting off to sleep, Nagi found himself thinking of everyone's reactions... Would they be happy? Sad? Would they kick his ass for being gone for 10 years? He never got to finish that train of thought as his mind seeped into a dream-filled sleep.

had no choice.

--

**OMAKE!**

"Yo! TAKAMICHI! HOW YA BEEN!?"

The man fell out of his chair.

"Hey! Don't die on me now! You haven't even bought me a drink yet!" He yelled at his passed out friend.

"How subtle." Eishun's voice this time.

"Damn straight."

Satsuki just chuckled.

--

**(1) **Oh snap! I made a cameo! How clever of me.

--

BWAHA! This I completely redid this chapter (almost) after Master Masa's review! Hope you like the new version! I hope to update this soon, so review! And maybe even tell me what you'd like to see in the next one. I'm open to any suggestions…please?

R&R!

"You're still doing it wrong."

points at plastic scissors

The title of this chapter is after the song on the radio at the time that I was finishing this.

'Issei' (the voice, look up the name it's CRAZY) belongs to me, but I don't mind if you use him/it. :3


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